February 20, 2012

Narration.

It's happening again. Every time I read a good book (this time it was The Apothecary's Daughter by Julie Klassen, I might even reread that book. It was one of those easy-know-what's-going-to-happen-from-the-first-page type stories that makes me grasp the pages, transport myself into another world, and read far into the night) I end up narrating my life in my head. It's annoying. Really annoying. It goes away after a couple of days.

 Today I'm planning on a photo shoot with The Project's finished .. product.
I finished it yesterday, and today I'll photograph it and edit photos etc. Hopefully it'll be up by tomorrow. Meanwhile...tidbits of my life narrated by the voice of Morgan Freeman. (Oh come on! Who else would it be?)

"Are you finished eating?" her mother asked her. She sighed, there are certain things whose finales cannot be announced, timed, or decided upon. If you are finished eating, is one of those certain things. "Yeah," she said instead.

"Is this our row?" she asked herself as she made her way silently down the side aisle. The clipped pieces of paper on the bordo floor confirmed she was right.

Her mind was whirling. Facebook had forced upon her a new timeline, Twitter had updated to its "new" look, YouTube had changed for the third time, and Blogger's privacy settings had updated drastically. "I can't take it! I can't take it!" she muttered. "Too much fickle inconsistency too fast."

Her eyes widened as the new thought sunk in! These double worded verification words! They could be a trap! They could be a machine's evil plan to have her write random words that would then come together and be used against her, and... (<-- That's when the evil machine made her stop disclosing its evil plan.)

Ants. By the thousands. By the millions! The tiny, horrid black things had crawled under her bed because of one, solitary little popcorn. She vacuumed them.

"I christened a kitchen utensil today." she announced. "It's a thing. That you use to fry stuff because it's a flat spoon type thingy but with holes in it... Apparently it's called a skimmer, but we didn't know what it was, so I christened it the UFO. Unidentified Frying Object. It has stuck for now. So if you ever come over, and I say we have UFOs in the kitchen..you'll know."

Making the Jackie Chan Wha..? face, she silently wondered, "I wonder why people decide to add me as a 'friend' on Facebook, and then refrain from ever acknowledging my existence in the virtual world or real world." Then she shrugged and deleted them.

The tabs on her Internet window scrambled back and forth from one site to another. It was again one of those times when she absentmindedly switched through her open tabs because her thoughts were clashing together and crashed one on top of the other like the elephants from The Jungle Book; she was giving them time to settle in the right formation.

She finished her post, gathered her things, and headed towards the library for her afternoon Reading Buddy session.


edited to add.

She also forgot a sweater and froze to death because librarians have super powers and never get cold. That or their cute twin set tops are very very warm.

12 Wonderful people made my day!:

  1. It would totally be Morgan Freeman narrating my life as well. On a side note, I'm so glad I'm not the only one out there who sometimes narrated things in her head. I would never have admitted that without knowing someone else does the same thing!!

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    1. Haha I took a risk! Glad to know I'm not alone either!

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  2. Very funny! What a great exercise and so well done!

    I know with all the changes too!

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    1. Thanks Ann, and yes the changes are bleh.

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  3. I have done the narration thing, too. Though I don't know that I've ever pinpointed who exactly that voice belongs to.

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    1. Haha in reality, I just narrate it in my own voice but if I could choose, it'd be Morgan Freeman's voice narrating it to others...

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  4. PS--I live in terror of the Facebook Timeline update. I know it's coming any minute. I realize these are free sites/platforms, but can't they PLEASE just leave well enough alone?

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    1. I'm with you here. My little request popped up the other day to switch and I'm just ignoring it until they force me to change.

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    2. MM - I wish so too ..

      TangledLou- I ignored it too, until Facebook had its way and forced it.

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  5. I narrate EVERYTHING in my head. Usually it's an Emma Thompson type voice, but sometimes it's more like Fran Drescher. Both of my kids narrate everything - out loud. Sometimes it gets a little confusing around here with all the plot twists.

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    1. This is fantastic writing, by the way. Such a joy to read.

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    2. Emma Thompson! That's another awesome narration voice! British English is swoon worthy. And they sound perfect. haha I like the idea of plot twists..

      Thank you, (: It's great to write..

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