November 7, 2012

Today.

another grading period material has
been sent off to be graded. evaluated.
geometry;
poetry and
vocabulary;
grammar and
economics;
physics and
spanish one.
bible class
i don't agree
with. must
study anyway.

eyelids spasm fighting to stay open. 
fighting bright light from the screen. 
must close. 
must sleep. 
must stop.
must finish.
must write.
must read.
must listen.
must compute, memorize, regurgitate
information. must. must. must. must.

not enough time. too much to do. dreams
spaceon hold for bigger dreams to realize. university.
spacessometimes i wonder.               what's it all for? is
spit really necessary                   now? maybe i
spacshould take a                          break. to see the 
spacespacworld. to travel. maybe i will regret it later. maybe i 
spacespshould invest in work experience instead. but no. 
spacethis is what i                   want to do. spacespac
spaci want to study.                          to learn.space
 spacto absorb.                                       to know. sp
spcto write.                                             to read. 
spacespto listen.                                             to compute.
spaspacmemorize.                                                 even to
spacesspacregurgitate                                              information.        

so financial aid applications are filled out.    
admission applicationsspacespacespspace
handed in.spacespacespacespacespacespa
choices made. spacespacespacespacescpa
e-mails sent.spacespacespacespacespaces
questions asked. overanalyzing. worrying.
wringing of hands. nervous eating. nom. n
essays. career goals. extracurriculars.more!
gpa's. money. spacespacespacespacespace
 numbers. 100. spacespacespacespacespace 
98. 97. 96. 95.spacespacespacespacespace
scholarship requirements. spacespacespace
new adjustments. seven hours of sleep. this
is all new for me. new territory. brand-new.

so sometimes i curl up in daddy's lap. isp
    like to pretend i still fit. rest my head on his
       chest. hear his heart-               beat like I usedp 
          to do as a newborn.                      eight monthss 
                   old. always rushing.                   never could letssdspce
       e   things simply be.                             always overspsp
              thinking. when                             will i ever learn?sps 
                 pope. defoe. dryden.                     steele. blackstone. 
                 johnson. boswell.                          wealth of nations. s
                 smith. jargon.                                     gobbledygook. ss 
                 argumentative essays.                            critical book s
                     reviews. i want this.                                so i will write, sss
                   read, listen, compute, memorize,       and regurgitate 
                         information. i will do my best. i will do it all. every-daya
          thing. just one more month. and i can do it. bu
      spyet i'll have you know. growing up kinda stinks.

(This was actually quite fun to write. :)

24 Wonderful people made my day!:

  1. Growing up does kind of stink. I refuse.

    Beautifully poetic post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. I think I'll boycott it too. :)

      Thanks Marianne!

      Delete
  2. Beautiful and yes growing up totally stinks...don't do it. Stay young and free, see things and learn things and never let weigh you down!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll do my best Sleepy Joe! :)

      Delete
  3. Good luck, Larissa! Keep taking us on the journey.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My daughter said just the other day, "Life is hard." I said I wished I could tell her it gets easier, but it doesn't.
    It does get more rewarding, though, and it's worth it.
    (Love the line about your dad. So sweet.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Jewels. And I agree .. it is hard sometimes..

      Delete
  5. Yes, you are so close!

    My favorite line...

    so sometimes i curl up in daddy's lap. i
    like to pretend i still fit.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Growing up is no fun at all. Some of this reminded me of college!! Great post Larissa!!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Definitely a lot in ur mind :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. This was so awesome. Love the shape poem!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Heather! Thanks for catching that! :D

      Delete
  9. I loved this--and I'm glad you had fun writing it (that's half the battle).

    ReplyDelete
  10. Brilliant! And, yes, growing up does stink sometimes!

    ReplyDelete

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